From Glee to Free and Back Again

Last week I was about to tuck into my favourite breakfast - baked beans, scrambled eggs, and hash browns - when a couple in their 60’s tentatively walked across the crowded hotel restaurant to my table.

“Remember us?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. They looked very familiar, but I couldn’t place them at first.

When they told me of the businesses they used to own, our previous encounters came vividly flooding back.

Paul and Janet had been high-performing, but unusual franchisees because of the extended period of extreme positivity they’d felt toward their franchisor. Their’s was a very interesting story.

Stages of interdependent relationships

The Franchise E-Factor is a popular 6-stage model I created to explain the emotional journey franchisees move through in their relationship with their franchisor.

It can be applied to all interdependent relationships where shared commitments make it hard to walk away. Think marriage, parenting, business partnerships and of course, the franchise relationship.

The model predicts that most interdependent relationships begin in a slightly unrealistic honeymoon phase, but then become more strained as expectations meet reality, leading to disappointment and frustration.

The good news is that, with open two-way communication and the right support strategies, all interdependent relationships can return to a more grounded and sustainable level of satisfaction.

A most unusual envelope

I first met Paul and Janet nearly 20 years ago when visiting their business as a judge for the Australian Franchisee of the Year awards, conducted by the Franchise Council of Australia. Part of the assessment criteria required me to explore their relationship with their franchisor.

When I asked Paul to describe how he felt about the franchisor team and why, he opened his desk drawer, pulled out a large manila envelope and held it up.

Handwritten in capital letters on the front of the envelope were the words I LOVE MY FRANCHISOR.

“In that envelope is my franchise agreement. I wrote those words the day we signed the agreement, and I still feel the same way,” he said, beaming.

I remember quizzing him about this, as they had now been part of the franchise network for over 7 years. In my experience, seasoned franchisees like Paul and Janet are not normally so gushy.

However, he insisted he was grateful for everything that the franchisor team had done to help them succeed, and he was looking forward to many more happy years working with them.

But this was soon to change.

The end of a long honeymoon

About a year later, I bumped into Paul and Janet at their franchise network’s annual conference. They were angry and disillusioned and said they were considering suing the franchisor because they believed they had been misled, disrespected, and treated unfairly regarding a third location they had wanted to expand into.

They also said they were considering selling their two franchises and leaving the network.

When I separately asked the CEO what had happened, he, of course, had his own interpretation of events, but was keen to resolve the situation.

After months of legal jousting and acrimony, both parties engaged a mediator and reached a commercial and legal settlement. When I had last spoken with Paul and Janet many years ago, they had decided to remain in the network but still felt disappointed and dissatisfied with their franchisor's behaviour.

So it was wonderful to now see them looking so contented and happy. But what really delighted me was the story they told me about how they had regained their joy in the last few years of running their franchises.

The turnaround

They said that one night, they were reflecting on the stress and frustration they felt about the business and their relationship with the franchisor. They realised that this resentment was not only destroying their peace of mind but also undermining their culture and the performance of their business.

On that night, they made a choice. They decided to forgive everyone involved in the dispute and let it go. They also chose to deliberately rebuild a more constructive relationship with the franchisor team.

“This was not a religious thing”, Paul emphasised. “This was a pragmatic realisation that we were just hurting ourselves and that genuine forgiveness was the only way forward.”

He went on to say that over the next few months, not only did they feel better in themselves, but the people in the franchisor support office apologised for some of the things that had been said and done, and their businesses began to flourish once again.

Several years later, feeling positive about their businesses and the franchise relationship, they decided to sell and received a good price.

This blew me away because I often talk about the power of forgiveness in my talks. And it’s a good example of how a franchisee can remain in the Glee stage of the franchise relationship for years, then quickly move into the Free stage after experiencing a breach of trust.

It’s also a reminder that franchisees are not just driven by money; they also need to feel respected and to be treated fairly. These are deep psychological needs. Neglect them at your peril.

Until next time, if you’re hanging onto a resentment, for your own sake, consider letting it go.