Learning to Listen on LinkedIn

You may be aware that I have been laying low recently, recovering from a reasonably serious illness. Many positives have emerged from this forced slowdown, one of which is how I’ve been using LinkedIn differently and more effectively.

Before I explain, let’s touch on a bad habit many of us in leadership roles regularly slip into when communicating with others. Whether it’s in our day-to-day conversations, or how we run small or large group discussions, our default is often to talk at others. After all, we have lots of important ideas and information we want to communicate, and time is of the essence. So it’s reasonable to believe that we will do our best work if we can be clear, confident, and compelling in communicating our ideas.

The power of active listening

No doubt you are familiar with the concept of 'active listening'. This is a process where we focus with curiosity on understanding what other people are saying, rather than thinking about how we’re going to respond, or what we want to say to influence them to our point of view. Facilitators also practice a form of active listening when they focus on understanding what a group wants to achieve, and then, rather than talking at the group, they create space for people in the group to share their thoughts and experiences.

I was introduced to the benefits of being a better listener around 35 years ago when I attended a facilitation workshop with Dr Bob Dick, who subsequently became an important mentor. Before this, I worked hard in my presentations and workshops to impress audiences with my expert knowledge, compelling stories and jokes. Bob taught me that people tend to get far more value from workshops if they are actively engaged and have the opportunity to contribute their thoughts. (This is why 40% to 60% of our workshops at FRI involve active audience participation).

Flipping the focus

Let me now explain how I accidentally started to apply active listening to my favourite social media platform, LinkedIn.

Prior to getting ill, I was enthusiastically posting messages, articles and videos on LinkedIn a couple of times a week. And if I’m honest, I’d then waste time each week checking on how much traction my posts were getting. In other words, it was all about me.

This changed when I ended up in hospital with lots of time to spare, but nothing much to report. So instead of posting what I wanted to talk about, I slowed down and started reading other people’s posts, focusing with a sense of curiosity on what they were saying.

Early each morning, I would prop myself up in bed, position my iPhone on the little table in front of me, and spend an hour quietly browsing through the posts that appeared in my LinkedIn feed. If I felt praise or encouragement was deserved, I would 'like' the post, and if a helpful thought came to mind I would also add a comment.

Four types of posts

As a psychologist, I like to categorise things, so here’s my rough taxonomy of LinkedIn posts, and how I tend to respond to these.

#1. Buy my product or attend my event: These are people or companies that want you to buy or register for something. The posts often have an invitation to click a button or a link for further information. I tend to ignore them unless they are for an event with quality speakers that I think will help me in some way.

#2. Here’s why you should work with me: These posts by consultants or coaches often contain life or leadership tips or insights. However, they are usually also trying to engage you to sign up with them, so there's often a catch requiring you to click something to get the full story. I browse these and sometimes contribute a comment if the content is useful.

#3. Feeling proud and wanting to celebrate: These posts by executives or companies are letting us know something cool that’s just happened - a promotion, a conference that’s gone well, or a charity event they are supporting. They may also have a call to action inviting you to connect or stay in touch. I like to read these and look for something specific I can comment on that highlights the achievement.

#4. There’s something meaningful I want to share: In these posts, someone is genuinely sharing an insight, an opinion or an experience they think could be useful. There is no ulterior motive other than the sharing. I read and often 'like' these posts. And if I think I can add something useful, I will add a comment.

So I have shifted from mainly talking at people on LinkedIn to listening to them. Not only has this been more satisfying, but it has also significantly increased the genuine connections and meaningful conversations I am having with these people, as they will often respond with a comment that deepens that connection.

A final suggestion

To conclude, I'd like to make a suggestion, especially if you are someone who takes the trouble to add comments on other people‘s posts.

If you use AI-generated responses, or if you just make comments like "Great" or "Awesome", these are probably going to be ignored by the person who posted the original message. Before posting a comment, why not take a minute to think about this person's unique situation and read carefully what they have said. Then share a specific comment that is relevant to their situation, highlights a point they made, or adds a new constructive perspective on whatever they are talking about. 

Not only will this be more satisfying for you, but it’s more likely to enrich your relationship with that person. And isn’t this what social media is meant to be about?

Until next time,